Well here we are half way done my stage, and still not confident enough in my abilities. My "stage masters" say I'm ready to be on my own but for some reason I don't feel it. I think maybe I'm just too hard on myself. Now I'm torn between figuring out where I wanna work, Cetam or Urgence Sante, there are things about both companies that I like, and things about both that I don't.
I went in for an extra shift yesterday even though it was my day off, and I'm happy I did, we did a transfer of a 12 year old boy to the children's cause he got a balloon in the eye and his eye was bleeding, no emergency, we did a car accident where everyone was OK, and a 15 year old girl who got in a fight with her best friend, and her friend litter ally bit her lip right off, there was a chuck about 1cm3 that we found on the ground very strange, women are crazy. We also had a 94 year old man with Alzheimer's who was just getting worse, nothing we, or anyone can do for him. It's sad to look into his eyes and see nothing, he looked like a sad little boy. I started to think about him as a young man, working hard to support his family, playing catch with his son, or pushing his daughter on the swing, and now his eyes are empty, physically there, but emotionally absent. Getting old isn't something I'm looking forward to.
I still need to see a big trauma, and a Cardiac Arrest.
1 comment:
Dude, that is totally normal to feel that you should not be on your own. I was the same way when I got out of school and thought to myself, "Holy crap, now I have to not screw up...ever!" I mean, yeah, I don't deal with people's health and life for that matter like you guys do but I think a lot of people feel this when you go from doing Mickey Mouse type stuff in school to actually doing REAL stuff out there in the field. I think also that it comes down to how you perceive yourself too, like you don't want to appear like you're not sure what you're doing in front of people but you have to look at it in a sense where these people are asking you for help, you are the professional, you know more than they do so what you say in golden to them. Keep it up Phil dude! Give 'em hell, kid!
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